Adulting. It happens to the best of us. We are in school and then we strive to get that first job. Then 40 years later we’re all like WTF! I can’t think of any 50 year olds that I know who wouldn’t want to go back to being 18 again or even further. And I’m not talking about the instant-health benefits of being younger – I mean the change in responsibility.
Youth really is wasted on young people. They all can’t wait to “get out of the house” and “get a real job” and “get out of school” and someone 50 is thinking – can I please stay home, not work, and maybe take some classes? We’d rock at it too. “Dang, my teacher wants this report by Thursday! UGH!” Thursday?? I have three reports due today at work before noon and I have two meetings back to back at 9am. Try that for 30 years and see if that Thursday report still brings you down. And don’t even mention the other stuff like… bills.
BILLS! They are never ending. I think that’s only because now months fly by like weeks used to. When you’re a kid, summer lasted forever. Now it lasts a few weeks. In those few weeks, I get reminded about 75 times that I have a bill due on my banks electronic billing page. I also get reminded multiple times – as if that will help me loosen the grip on my checkbook. You get billed for everything too. Things you never knew existed when you were younger. “Copayment? What’s that? You mean I have insurance AND I have to pay?” Personal property taxes. You mean I own my car AND I have to pay taxes on the car? Nobody told me that. Stormwater runoff fees? Now I get billed stormwater runoff taxes for water that I use in the house to help cover sewage. Wait – I watered my grass. Doesn’t matter, you used it, you pay.
Food. Food changes when you’re older. When you are young, you think “Two Whoppers? That might hold me until dinner.” You don’t even think about it. Some pizza and wings? How about A pizza and wings? Now I go out for dinner and can’t even finish it all and maybe because I don’t want to. Because you know how you are gonna feel later if you finish it now. Plus, taking some of it home means you get have a snack later. You’re gonna need a snack to keep your blood sugar up. God forbid you go to sleep without getting something in you to maintain your ‘sugars’ overnight. Ask any nurse at a hospital on the joint replacement wing and they’ll tell you the number of turkey sandwiches and ginger ale they have to pass out every night. Sounds like a turkey sandwich party.
Stress. When you’re a kid, do you stress about stuff? You wonder if Monica is going to go with you to the dance party on Friday. You might be smart enough to worry about a test you have on Wednesday so you might stress about it. Grown ups have STRESS. Try staring at a mortgage payment for 30 years. Did you ever wake up in the middle of the night and your mind suddenly does something crazy like “Oh, hi! I see you’re awake. Here. I just added up the balance on all of your credit cards and your mortgage… I thought you’d be happy that I did that for you. Well, go ahead – go back to sleep.”
Sleep! Ah, sleep. Kids sleep ridiculously long hours. My son will wake up at three in the afternoon, a full thirty minutes before he needs to be AT WORK. Goes to work until maybe eleven at night and then goes back to sleep. Somewhere amidst all of that he eats Whoppers, Pizza and wings. I don’t always see him eat. I wake up to go to the bathroom about three times a night. Even more fantastic is the occasional #2 at three AM. What’s up with that? Does your body think – “well, we’re already in here anyway”. Then your brain is like “Well, since you’re here – do you remember that insurance payment that was due last Thursday? The one where they were going to cancel your policy if they didn’t get it in time? Did you mail it? Because I can’t remember. Well, get some sleep.”